Because of my sinfulness and selfishness, I was out of communion with the blessed sacrament for most of my adult life. To anyone who’s never been excommunicated, you cannot imagine the pain and humiliation of being in that state. Being a coward, I avoided mass. I was too embarrassed. Week after week, my neighbors would see me not going to communion. I’d have to get up and let the communicants through, then kneel back down, often alone. Alone to recall the many sins I could not confess. Alone to wonder if I’d ever return to a state of grace. Alone to wonder if I’d ever again taste the body and blood of Christ.