Cleveland, OH – Citing concern for their safety in an increasingly anti-Semitic USA, Democrat presidential candidate Barack Obama today announced a plan to provide Jews with additional protection. The plan, called “HOPE . . . We’ll Protect You,” requires urges Jews to register with their local Social Security Administration office. After filling out a short form, SSA will photograph the citizen and implant a small microchip on the Jew’s left arm. The chip, about the size of a pencil lead, will allow authorities to quickly identify Jews killed or injured should anti-Semitic violence increase.