No Mercy for Cocaine Mitch
There's blood in the water; take him down now
Cocaine Mitch announced this is his last term as Republican Leader. At the risk of sounding “unchrisitian,” let me say, “not good enough.” Mercy and clemency are not the same things, and we have a moral obligation to punish evil-doers.
Mitch McConnell is evil. Don’t pretend otherwise.
McConnell, along with his trusty sidekick Paul Ryan, led the Republican Party into minority status in the House and Senate in order to block President Trump’s agenda, knowing full well the Democrats would launch a lawfare campaign against Trump. Every evil thing that has happened since 2018 happened because McConnell willed it to happen.
McConnell has long enabled open borders even while publicly decrying illegal immigration. It’s one store for the ignorant voters, another for the Washington insiders. But, with Cocaine Mitch, action always favors the insiders. We just witnessed McConnell’s grand lie with the supposed border bill.
For months, McConnell held secret negotiations with Chuck Schumer to force billions of spending on Ukraine under the chiffon veil of “border security.” He duped Oklahoma Senator James “the cockroach” Langford into being the frontman for the bill. When the legislation could no longer be hidden from Republican Senators, we learned that Mitch’s “border security” bill was actually a codification of the Biden border policy, which is, “bring me your evil, addicted, convicted murderers, rapists, gangsters, and child-rapists, and I will give them taxpayers’ savings, free airfare, pardon, and amnesty.” Voters rejected the bill, and it was scuttled.
Did Mitch McConnell, then, instruct The Cockroach to go back and craft a border bill with teeth?
No!
Cocaine Mitch, instead, ordered Republicans drop all the pretense of border security and approve only the Ukraine aid portion of the failed legislation.
McConnell isn’t stupid enough to believe American voters (who have been fighting, dying, funding, and receiving carefully folded American flags “on behalf of a grateful nation” since 1991 at their sons’ military funerals) want Ukraine’s borders sealed before America’s. No, Mitch McConnell happily stopped pretending to give two Schiffs about the people of this country and placate his defense industry friends directly.
The reason McConnell chose now to announce his retirement is simple: he was about to be removed from Republican leadership by the men and women he has long manipulated—his fellow Republicans. By announcing his retirement as Leader now, but effective January 3, 2025, McConnell bought himself 11 months to do as much damage to the republic as possible.
McConnell cynically determined that, with his “longest tenure as Senate leader in history” coming to a disgraceful end next year, his fellow Senators would leave him to do the devil’s bidding in peace. He thinks he bought himself 11 months, not only to pad his retirement account with graft from the defense industry, but to hamstring the next Trump administration and to exact revenge on the American working class, which McConnell (and most Republicans of his era) despise like dog dirt on their new Cole Hahns.
The Republican playbook demands, now, that we all play saccharine, black-and-white tribute movies of Mitch McConnell’s “life of statesmanship” on a loop in our minds until next January, while McConnell and his criminal gang rob us blind, destroy our futures, and thwart our will. Like the “border bill,” McConnell’s retirement announcement is nothing more than pink chiffon masking a rotting corpse.
But, the Republican playbook is a recipe for gastrointestinal distress. The GOP playbook puts protocol before principle, appearances above results, and collegiality ahead of character. Republicans think the job of Congress is a 1930s movie: The Gay Divorcee, about which IMDB’s plot synopsis says, “The plot is really an excuse for song and dance.” Republicans sing and dance while Democrats establish despotism and McConnell pockets the loose change for himself. (If you want to have fun, watch The Gay Divorcee as a expose of Republican duplicity.)
Instead of the Republican playbook, let’s follow the MAGA playbook. With Christian charity towards McConnell’s eternity, we must ruthlessly stop his reign of terror. So, I call on Senate Republicans to remove McConnell immediately, before he can do more damage.
They will be called “heartless” and “cruel” and “geriphobic” and “backstabbers” and “merciless” and worse for denying this “humble, frail old man” his victory lap, but who gives a damn? They are called “Nazis” and “fascists” and “racists” every millisecond of every day and will be until their heirs receive that folded flag. They won’t be invited to the Met Galla just because they gave Cocaine Mitch a retirement cake. They should, as we all should, embrace the suck.
Kick McConnell to the curb now. Let his inglorious end serve as a warning to those who follow. Put principle before party and character before reputation. Ditch Mitch and pray for his soul.
FMM