The Associated Press, long upset that people often quote and link to its stories on the internet, has imposed a $2.50 per word fee for bloggers who wish to quote one of its stories.

I understand. It’s tough to have a lot of people driving web traffic to your site. Considering the number of articles attributed to the AP, the cost of servers and bandwidth must be outrageous.

But I have a solution: Stop posting stories on the internet.

I have scientific proof that this will work. For several months, I did not blog at all. During that period, not a single blogger linked to or quoted any blog post I wrote.

Here’s how I see it:

1. Cancel all your web hosting contracts.

2. Take the money you save, and teach your reporters how to write.

3. Reserve some cash with which to research your stories for factual accuracy.

4. Hire many, many lawyers to scour the internet looking for violations of any of your rules and policies.

Did I leave anything out?

From now on, I’m going to Reuters. The Associated Press can go to hell.

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