Northern Pakistan–al Qaeda Entertainment, a division of al Qaeda-at-large, announced today that the next Osama bin Laden video will feature American pop star Britney Spears.

al Qaeda hopes that Spears' presence will help increase viewership in the 15-24 demographic, a prime target for terrorist recruitment.  Melinda Roikers, Ms. Spears' publicist, said the OBL video could mitigate some of the damage to Britney’s career and reputation as a result of her public drunkeness, her radical haircut, her feud with

her mother, and her recent appearance on the Video Music Awards. 

The video, which should be available on terrorist websites this week, is expected to detail bin Laden’s plans for restoring the Middle East to 12th century technology and killing millions of civilians in North America.