Jenn Q Public asked if I’d heard that Al Gore–the man Don Imus described as Evil Incarnate–told a German audience that the North Pole will cease to exist in 5 years. He held up his hand, fingers splayed, to avoid any possible confusion.

Mark the date: according to Gore, on 12/12/2013, there will be zero ice north of the Arctic Circle. This would an amazing change in trends since global sea ice has been growing for 20 years now. (h/t Tom Nelson)

If he’s wrong, let’s sue him. Here’s how. We’ll set up a PayPal account to raise money to build a Jet Ski resort in Barrow, Alaska. The big bucks will to R&D of the lighting system to allow people to Jet Ski during months with zero sunlight.

If there’s ice in January, that will seriously hurt business. Since we based our business on a guarantee from Gore, he’ll be liable for our loses. We’ll sue him, not only for our lost investment, for 20 years of revenue.

Of course, if Al Gore is not a liar and a fraud, he could always sue me.

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