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Yellow Josh "Hee" Hawley

We all thought it.

“This time, for sure, McCaskill goes down.”

We’ve thought it before and been disappointed. But this time is different, right? This time, we have that up-and-coming Attorney General who’s backed by conservatives and establishment Republicans alike. A guy equally at home at a Tea Party conference or a Jack Danforth backyard barbecue. This time, for sure.

But this time looks like another disappointment for Missouri Republicans hoping to send another Republican to the US Senate. Another Thanksgiving with Lucy snatching away the political football. This time is the same as the last time. Unless Republicans find a new candidate for Senate. (Aaron Hedlund?)

Last time, Todd Akin self-destructed on a Sunday morning interview show.

This time, Josh Hawley turned yellow. Bad!

To understand just how abusive and cowardly and passive-aggressive Josh Hawley is, consider St. Louis prosecutor Kim Gardner.

Kim Gardner is a half-wit, crooked prosecutor who hired an above-the-law former FBI agent, possibly illegally, to conduct a witch hunt on the Republican Governor Eric Greitens. Gardner’s FBI thug, with her apparent permission, lied under oath, hid evidence, and, according to some people I’ve spoken with (Democrats), intimidated witnesses like a Mafia enforcer. Kim Gardner is to lawyers what Jack Kevorkian was to physicians. 

You’d think a well-educated, ambitious, Republican “conservative” like Josh Hawley would do what most state attorneys-general do when they have evidence of criminal activity by an elected official. You’d have thought yellow Josh would, at least, investigate the city prosecutor. Hawley claims he does not have “proper” jurisdiction. But I can’t find any source that supports Hawley’s claim. (If you know what “proper” jurisdiction means in this case, feel free to inform us in the comments.)

But no. Not Josh. Hawley, instead, investigated a trumped-up charge against his fellow Republican Greitens, realized the spurious accusation regarding a charity Greitens founded was baseless and promptly turned the case over to the crooked and abusive Kim Gardner! What a wuss this Hawley.

A real man would have prosecuted a corrupt governor of his own party himself. But Josh Hawley is less than a man, and the governor isn’t corrupt—Hee Hawley is. Hawley outsourced his dirty work to a crooked half-wit. And the half-wit is slobberingly happy to do Hawley’s cowardly bidding. As Governor Greitens said in a statement today:

She said her investigator would find the truth. Instead, her investigator lied under oath and created false evidence.  And she is using thousands and thousands of taxpayer dollars to do all of this.

Her case is falling apart—so today, she’s brought a new one.

A new abuse of prosecutorial power. An abuse—a crime—Hee Hawley was too yellow to commit himself but eager to solicit.

Attorneys-general prosecute criminal cases all the time and have for nearly a century. So why didn’t Josh “Hee” Hawley prosecute his fellow Republican governor? If Hawley’s investigation actually uncovered something illegal, Hawley would have jumped at the chance to take down Greitens. But Hawley demured. Why?

Because prosecuting this Mission Continues case would have been an abuse of his power and office. That would have landed him in hot water when the judge dismissed Hawley’s reckless prosecution with prejudice. That would have made Hawley look like a crappy lawyer. And, believe me, Hawley wants you to see him as an excellent lawyer. Definitely excellent. He wants to look tough and honest. He probably gets tough with himself in the mirror every morning.

So, what does Hawley do? Well, Josh had recent evidence that a crooked city prosecutor would break any law and violate every oath to irritate down a conservative Republican. So Hawley encouraged the crooked Kim Gardner to do his dirty work for him. Like a coward and a bad lawyer.

Why? Why would Josh “Hee” Hawley do something so yellow and corrupt? Maybe to get Greitens out of his way.

Hawley and Greitens are about the same age. They both have great academic and professional credentials. They arrived on the scene as Republican up-and-comers in the same election cycle. They both have ambitions beyond Missouri. But there’s a distinct difference. Josh Hawley looks bookish and flimsy, and physicality is a big deal in political psychology. The taller candidate usually wins. The stronger-looking candidate usually wins. The tougher-looking candidate usually wins. The candidate who looks like he or she would take a bullet for their constituents usually wins.

Josh Hawley loses big time standing next to a Navy SEAL who can deadlift three Josh Hawleys. So, Hawley sees Greitens as a threat. Hawley wants to remove that obstacle from his uber-ambitious political plans. So Hawley goes dirty and weak.

A few weeks ago when a friend asked me if Josh Hawley had a chance at beating Claire McCaskill, I told her, “it’ll be a cake-walk.” At the time, I thought Hawley was upstanding, honest, and brave. Now we know different. Now we know Hawley outsources his dirty work to rogue political hacks in St. Louis. Like a coward.

Hee Hawley. So sad.

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