July 13, 2016

1021 words 5 mins read

Mark Reardon for Mayor: Make St. Louis Fun Again

Nobody likes traffic, but St. Louis was built to hold a million people. And it once did, back in the days when Democrats and Republicans took turns being mayor.

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Now, in this foul year of our Lord twenty-sixteen, just over 300,000 people call the city home. A 70 percent decline!

And I’m not one of them. For several reasons that no reasonable person could argue with.

First, the city has a crime problem. Actually, the city has a remarkable skill for crime. Everybody I know who lives or lived in the City of St. Louis has had a car stolen or broken into, myself included. (I was also robbed at knifepoint during a Spirtits of St. Louis basketball game in 1975, but I’m over that. Really, I’m over it.)

Next, the city has a terrible reputation. Terrible. I’ll tell you a story about just how terrible.

We were in an Uber SUV going from a client visit in Redmond back to our hotel in Seattle. It was about 8 p.m. and dark. January. I sat in the front passenger’s seat where I could banter playfully with the driver, ensuring a 4-star review. My two colleagues sat in back in silence, worried that I’d reveal too much.

At one point, the driver asked, “where are you guys from.”

“St. Louis,” I said proudly.

The driver’s face looked like he suddenly felt a major gas issue coming on. His eyes widened and his jowls stretched freakishly as if the force of gravity suddenly doubled. He fell silent and began nervously glancing into the rearview mirror at my colleagues. No doubt wondering, “will they ever find my body?”

To ease the tension, I chuckled. Probably a bit too forcefully, judging by the poor man’s reaction.

“Seattle’s a peaceful city,” he said. “We don’t want any trouble.” His voice was tight and clipped.

“Trouble?” I said. “Do we look like trouble? We’re just here for a good time.”

Why the hell did I say that? We were in Seattle on serious business. I must have been overcompensating for the man’s terror and disgust at the mere mention of St. Louis.

“I know about the riots,” he said, his voice now a cross between Gilbert Godfried and Carol Channing. The poor devil was petrified.

“What riots?” I asked.

After a darting glance in the rearview mirror looking for signs of weapons or sudden movements, he answered, “Ferguson.”

“Oh that,” my colleague said. “That’s nothing. Out of towners get all freaked about that stuff. Don’t pay attention. It’s just good times.”

Now the man was terrified.

Wait. This was supposed to be about Mark Reardon.

Did you hear Mark Reardon’s running for mayor of St. Louis? You will. And you’ll love it.IMG_0640

Mark can make St. Louis politics fun again. We all need that, don’t we? And we want our reputation back. St. Louis used to be fun and relatively risk-free. Let’s do it again.

Some people thought Donald Trump announced his candidacy for president just to boost his private businesses. Now we know that thinking was wrong. Trump believes America needs his leadership, and he’s decided to make the last chapter of his life a mission to fix a troubled nation.

With KMOX’s Mark Reardon now running for mayor of St. Louis, you might be thinking Reardon’s run is a publicity stunt. Skepticism is natural, especially about politics. In time, you’ll see what Mark can do for the city.

Don’t be surprised as things change for the better. Reardon has a real shot at the GOP nomination, and in the era of the outsider, anything’s possible. Smart libertarians, conservatives, and disaffected Democrats in St. Louis should get behind Mark’s run. It can only help, because Mark Reardon will make a great mayor.

The more you hear from Mark, the more you’ll see what he can do for the city. Luckily, he’s on the radio every day from 2:00 until . . .  after I get home and stop listening to the radio. After 5:00, anyway. Plus, the Reardon Round Table every Friday at 2:15 has been called “the best broadcast entertainment since Jack Benny died,” or something. That’s probably because I’m on it, as are John Lamping and Eric Schmidt. Not to mention the great Jane Dueker. And other Democrats.

Speaking of Democrats, Democratic in-breeding has produced several generations of mutated and sickly city leadership. A fresh Democrat can only introduce fresh diseases to an already weak and failing host. St. Louis city government does little well, as you know. Part of the reason for St. Louis’s dysfunction is one-party, one-view leadership. Although, “leadership” is stretching it. But Mark Reardon will make a great mayor.

Now, St. Louisans have a chance to turn this city around. I wholeheartedly endorse Mark. Mark will make a great Mayor.

He’s the voice of St. Louis afternoons, and St. Louis needs him. In fact, St. Louis desperately needs his brand of libertarian, civic-minded leadership. Most importantly, the city needs a leader who can communicate a vision of what St. Louis can be.  Even Uber drivers in Seattle want that.

Mark’s campaign team includes some amazing political geniuses from all factions of St. Louis politics. He’s already shown a unique ability to unify Republicans and Democrats with his choice of Jane Dueker as campaign manager.

**The deeper Mark goes into this race, the higher he’ll lift the city’s hopes. And its reputation. **

Keep an eye on Hennessy’s View and listen in to Mark’s show every day at 2:00 as this amazing story develops. You’re going to love it.

Let’s make St. Louis politics fun again.

If you found any of this entertaining or useful, you’ll find my book at this link.

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Want to help? Print these awesome posters and tape them to your store’s windows. They’re guaranteed to attract customers and make St. Louis fun again±. And they’re free!*

± Tested in laboratory conditions. Your results may vary.

*Ink, toner, tape, paper, and time not included. Void where prohibited. No cash value. Cannot be combined with any other offer.