On New Year’s Eve, male Muslim refugees rampaged across Europe.
They didn’t use guns and bombs. They used their bodies. On women.
This created a political-correctness nightmare for Europe’s leaders. On the one hand, the victims were women, and no means no, and we must always believe a woman who accuses a man of sexual predation (unless the man is Bill Clinton in which case we destroy the woman).
On the other hand, the assailants . . . no, no–assailants is too strong. The overzealous revelers were Muslim men and refugees. And Muslim refugees are safe, vetted, peaceful human beings who only want to adopt the customs and mores of their new countries.
In Cologne, Germany, hundreds of Muslim men assaulted hundreds of German women, and the German women refused to do the right thing (right by the political elite) and chalk the whole thing up to New Year’s Eve frivolity. (What’s a little grope between revelers, huh?)
[Tweet “In Cologne, Germany, hundreds of Muslim men assaulted hundreds of German women”]
Instead these headstrong women (that’s still okay, isn’t it?) went to the authorities. And to the press! and told their stories of molestation. And they even went so far as to identify their attackers as “Middle Eastern or African.”
But it gets worse!
The police corroborated the women’s stories. Can you believe it? The police whose pensions depend on the favor of the Political Elite confirmed the victims–er–accusers’ testimony.
What’s a Political Elite to do?
First, hold a press conference and boldly state some platitudes. “No woman should ever feel unsafe, anywhere.” “No means no.” “Women own their bodies.”
Buuuttttt . . . .
Maybe women should understand that Muslim men come from cultures that value . . . well, other things. It’s not really a matter of differences, so much, you see, as it is of degree. And these young–these fine young men–are our guests. And they’ve been through so much.
So I’ll tell you ladies, maybe you should think about how you might have, inadvertently, enticed these fine young men into getting a little too close to you and, well, you know, maybe these men–these fine young men–in all the bustle and jostle of a New Year’s party, they might have accidentally bumped into you with all the drinking and chaos that goes on at these things. (Raves, I think the kids call them these days. It even sounds bumpy.)
So here’s what we’ll do. From now on, you European women who are so well educated and so hip on sexual etiquette these days–so much more aware than our new guests from Syria–why don’t you try to stay, um, let’s call it “more than arm’s length” from our guests, especially when our guests have been out partying.
Oh, and I know the new fashion is tight workout gear . . . what they call “yoga” pants and sports bras and all that, and I know you ladies want to look cool and trendy and all, but maybe . . . maybe when you’re going out where you might be around our guests–such fine young men from very difficult upbringings–maybe you should dress a little less . . . provocatively, you know? More modest dress, like these guests are used to? See, women where they come from, in their culture, the women dress very modestly. When these men see the way German women dress, well, is it any wonder they get over-stimulated? I mean, it’s like the boys when I was in elementary school seeing their first National Geographic. Well, I’m older. You wouldn’t understand that.
But, anyway, let’s just call it all a big misunderstanding and try to help our guests assimilate by dressing a little more . . . you know . . . maybe wear a nice fashionable scarf on your head? Scarves were so elegant in the sixties. Think of Audrey Hepburn or Princess Grace. Especially Princess Grace because she did very well in a very different culture, and who doesn’t want to look like Princess Grace?
Oh, and one last thing. Maybe, if something like this happens again, which I doubt it will, but if it does, maybe you could try to describe the young men–these fine young men–without assuming a country of origin or their religion? I mean, can you really know they were Middle Eastern or African? I mean, you didn’t card them, I’m sure, and refugees don’t have cards, anyway, but you know what I mean. Sure, they could have looked darker complected than a typical German, but how do you know they weren’t Greek or Spanish? So let’s not jump to conclusions. I’ve been around very handsy Spanish men, myself, and I knew they were Spanish because they told me, but in a wild street party on New Year’s Eve, well, I doubt anyone would just come out and say “I’m from the Middle East and I’m going to grope you.” So don’t assume. It isn’t very nice. It’s not what a good host does, and we are, after all, their hosts.
And, finally, just to prove I’m not alone in saying we shouldn’t just immediately believe the worst and assume guilt, I’d like to introduce that American icon of comedy and education, Dr. Bill Cosby.
Is it any wonder why Donald Trump’s war on political correctness is winning?
Now check out Europe Is Enabling a Rape Culture