Who Is Charley James?

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🕔 3 min read ∙ 580 words

Nov 2007
This degenerate America-hater who goes by the name Charley James claims to live in Toronto, and claims to have friends in Alaska. He has earned his 15 minutes of fame by giving himself a Peyote enema and making up a ridiculous story about Sarah Palin complete with a fictitious waitress named “Lucille,” a name he probably pulled from Hunter S. Thompson’s “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.” (I don’t have the book in front of me, but I believe that Lucille was the name of the maid that Duke’s attorney attacked in the hotel room when the attorney mistook the maid’s mop for an axe handle.)

Now it’s our turn to find out about Charley James.

On Helium an other sites, James claims to be a former BusinessWeek assistant editor. I doubt it. James’s writing is weak, full of filler words, incorrect punctuation, and factual errors. (For instance, this article, which we submitted as evidence of his skills, claims Bill Gates invented Windows in his garage. Gates, et al, may have productized DOS in a garage, but Microsoft was well established by the time Windows came along.)

His writing overflows with mindless sentences like these:

There’s actually a simple answer: Stop what you’re probably doing.

Selling more to current customers gets so much attention because it is important.

To much selling involves too many sales people doing a lot of talking but not very much listening. Too often, what happens is that three or four people take turns approaching a customer or client, sometimes with a dizzying parade of PowerPoint slides flashing behind them, as each says how they can meet a customer’s needs, solve a problem, or help them grab an opportunity. Most of these extravaganza’s - which probably took hours to prepare - are too long, detailed or boring.

This writing doesn’t earn a ‘C’ in a high school composition class. I simply don’t believe BusinessWeek hires such weak editors.

Here’s what we know:

  • “Charley James” may not be he real name*
  • James claims to be a former Assistant Editor at Business Week magazine. I have requested confirmation/denial of Business Week*
  • There are 33 people in Toronto named “C James” or some derivation thereof*
  • James claims in his blog to live near enough to “the Lake” to walk his dog there regularly*
  • Only one C James lives very near Lake Ontario, at [address withheld] Toronto, ON, M1E 2B4*
  • James claims on his blog to have been physically assaulted and battered by 3 Americans who crossed the border for the sole purpose of finding him and kicking his ass in broad daylight. (I doubt this story is true, but these three deserve a medal if it is.) There would be a police report, but I find none*
  • James claims to have worked in multiple newsrooms in the US and Canada, so someone must have worked with him*
  • James claims to have been born in Milwaukee, WI, and, judging from his photo (assuming it’s recent), that birth would have taken place between about 1945 and 1960*
  • James claims to be a baseball fan

Over the next week, I will find out just who this guy is. What schools did he attend? Did he work for BusinessWeek and was he an “Assistant Editor.” I’ve sent inquiries to BusinessWeek and to James himself.

UPDATE An e-mailer points out something I missed: Does Charley James have visible links to Barack Obama or his campaign?

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