Global Warming Dying Fast

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🕔 2 min read ∙ 251 words

The global warming hoax of the past decade, which reached a climax in 2006-2007, is in rapid decline. I’m no longer the only one noticing it. Add to that the news of a couple weeks back that no one in an ABC News poll of 1,197 US adults named Global Warming as an issue in this year’s elections. No one. Nada. Zip. Ain’t huntin'.

In desperation, then, Al Gore today pronounced the Myanmar Hurricane a result of non-existent global warming.

Al Gore makes money on global warming. So today’s pontification is, effectively, his attempt to cash in on a tragedy–like the carpetbaggers who descent on natural disasters and bilk the people out of their remaining cash on the promise of repairing their homes. (Many, many sincere carpenters and constructors also travel to disaster scenes to help. I’m not calling them out or comparing them to Al Gore.)

What does this mean?

It means that it’s okay to swim against the theoretical flow. It’s okay to enjoy your SUV, to not say you’re “green,” to eat beef, to keep comfortable, to put real bygod gasoline into your car, to cut the lawn with a gas mower, then fire up the grill to seer some steaks. Pop a Budweiser, releasing the naturally produced CO2. The greenhouse bubbles will help carry the aroma of hops and natural beechwood aging to your olfactory nerves, enhancing the beverage’s crisp, satisfying flavor.

You earned it, my friend; you survived Global Warming.

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